Ep #61: 5 Ways to Navigate Your First Angel Day Anniversary

As the first anniversary of your parents’ death nears, the pressure of holiday tradition can feel burdensome. How do you honor their memory in a way that feels true to your heart without bowing to traditional holiday pressures? Stay tuned for a special Q&A segment.

Welcome to Overcoming Grief, a show for women experiencing profound grief and looking for support in healing and transforming their lives. If you are ready to heal after loss, create a new self-identity, take responsibility to do the hard things, and get massive results in your life, this show is for you. Now, here’s your host, Master Grief and Life Coach, Sandy Linda.

Hello, creative humans. How are you all doing today? Let’s embrace the splendor of November, a heartfelt tribute to worldwide bereaved sibling month. In times of sorrow, there is a glimpse of comfort. For individuals who have gone through the significant loss of a sibling, social media platforms act as a sanctuary in the online environment. They offer a space where memories can be shared, tributes can be paid, and connections can be forged with others who understand the unique pain that follows such a loss.

In this virtual world, the physical effects of grief may find a release. Tears running down on our cheeks as we read heartfelt stories and recall cherished moments with our departed siblings. Our sad smiles might turn into inspiration as we see others who have been through the same. But let us not forget the influence of these digital platforms to ignite hope and healing. They can be a motivation for reflection and growth, encouraging us to honor our siblings, not only during this designated month, but throughout the entire year. They give us a way to celebrate their lives, keep their memories alive, and feel less alone in our grief. That’s the magic of finding your grief tribe, isn’t it? And as for me, I do go on social media a little, not much.

But now I want to turn to one of our loyal listeners who sent me a question. I received a heartfelt email from Linda. In her message, she dared to ask the same question that so many of you have been pondering. Linda’s questioning presents us with the valuable opportunity to explore this topic and provide healing guidance to empower you through your grief journey.

So Linda wrote, “Hello, Sandy. I love some of your topics you bring to the show. I listened to the one you did on death and milestones that you shared that was for five or 10 years. However, November 17th would be a one year anniversary since my mom’s death. I’ve been thinking about this day all year and what I’d like to do to celebrate her. As the day approaches in a few weeks, I just feel so numb. And now I don’t feel like doing anything. What did you attempt to do on your one year anniversary of losing your family? Please provide any ideas that can help me navigate this world without her.”

Thank you so much for this question, Linda. And I wanna send out my condolences, blessings and healings as you go through your grief journey and expand on your mother’s loss. As for me, I can recall the one year anniversary. It’s sometimes hard because your entire world is disrupted. So before I dive in, I want to share something personal with you. After my father left this world, I learned a profound lesson about grief. You see, as I was entering the grief world and met some well-meaning friends. Two of them invited me to their home, thinking I shouldn’t be alone.

While their intentions were pure, sitting at a table with strangers, trying to maintain small talk while my heart was screaming for familiar traditions, it was overwhelming. After an hour, I said I had a migraine and left. Want to know the truth? I went home and cried my eyes out. But you know what? That taught me something huge. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to do grief your way.

Linda, first, I want you to know that your question resonates with so many of us. That first year milestone, what some call an angelversary, can feel like scaling a mountain we never choose to climb. And while there’s no universal roadmap for this journey, I’d like to share five heartfelt suggestions that might help you and our listeners to navigate this day. I call it the Angel Day Tributes.

Number one. In your email, you stated that you felt numb and you didn’t wanna do anything. So I wanna start with something gentle. Create a memory space. Consider setting aside a special corner of your home for that day. Bring together photos, your mom’s favorite flowers, perhaps that scarf she always wore, or items that hold special memories. This isn’t about drowning in sadness. It’s about creating a sacred space where you can feel close to her.

Number two. Write a letter or journal entry. Sometimes the words we never got to say weigh the heaviest. Take time to write a letter to your mom. Tell her about your year, the moments you wish she was there, the things you’ve learned. This isn’t about a perfect composition, it’s about an honest expression. Some of our listeners find comfort in reading these letters at their loved one’s resting place, while others prefer to keep them private.

Number three. Light a candle of remembrance. There’s something insightful about the ritual of lighting a candle for those we have lost. The gentle flame becomes a guiding light of remembrance, a physical manifestation of their enduring presence in our hearts. Consider setting aside a special time, whether morning or evening, to light a candle in your sacred space. Our listeners like to light candles with their family members all at once, which creates a lovely bond no matter the distance. As you watch the flame dance, allow yourself to sit quietly with your memories. Whether you choose to journal, meditate, or be present, this ancient tradition of illuminating our grief can bring unexpected comfort.

Number four. Engage in acts of kindness. Your mom’s love continues through you. Consider spending part of the day doing something she would have loved or supporting a cause she cared about. Maybe volunteer at her top charity, plant a tree in her memory, or assist someone the way she would. These acts can help transform a day of loss into one of giving and legacy.

Number five. Create a new ritual that honors both your mom’s memory and your need to move forward. Perhaps a morning walk in her favorite park, lighting a special candle, or playing her favorite music. Choose something sustainable that you can carry forward into future years.

So there you have it, five gentle ways to honor your first angel day. Think of these as little lights you can choose from. Maybe one speaks to your heart, maybe all of them do. No pressure here, just possibilities.

Remember, dear listeners, there’s no right way to spend this day. Some of you might want quiet solitude. Others might need the embrace of family. Some might choose to treat it as any other day, and that’s okay too. What matters is that you honor your needs and your unique way of grieving. Linda and all our listeners facing this milestone, be gentle with yourselves. Your love for those you’ve lost doesn’t need to fit anyone else’s expectations or timeline.

Have a question about your grief journey? Something you are struggling with? Send me an email. You might just hear your story reflected back to our wonderful community in a future episode. If today’s discussion helped you or gave you any insights, please share this episode with someone you know who might go through something similar. Each share brings support and understanding to our listener community.

Until next time, beautiful humans, keep being gentle with yourselves. Thank you for joining me on this exploration of One Year Angel Day. May you find moments of peace, comfort, and new rituals in the days ahead. Take care of those hearts, and when you’re ready, embrace new traditions as your mom would want you to. Remember to grieve with grace, nurture your inner strength, and lead with courageous hearts. Thank you so much for listening and have a beautiful, wonderful day. Bye.

Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Overcoming Grief. If you’re ready to move into a new, rewarding life experience, and want more information about how to work with Sandy, visit www.sandylinda.com.