Ep #67: Discover Your Ideal Grief Support System

Sandy Linda: Have you ever felt like you’re searching for your grief tribe? People who understand your unique journey of loss. I’m sharing the secret to finding your ideal grief tribe. Stay tuned!

Welcome to Overcoming Grief, a show for women experiencing profound grief and looking for support in healing and transforming their lives. If you are ready to heal after loss, create a new self-identity, take responsibility to do the hard things, and get massive results in your life, this show is for you. Now, here’s your host, Master Grief and Life Coach, Sandy Linda.

Hello, beautiful creative humans. You know what makes my heart sing? Opening my email and finding messages from listeners like you who are discovering their grief recovery path. Just this week, I received an email from a remarkable woman named Jamie. This sets up our conversation today. So I had to share it.

Jamie took our grief archetype quiz, brave move by the way, and discovered she’s an explorer. But here’s what touched me. She wrote to tell me how the morning journaling workbook is opening up new ways for her to process her grief. Jamie, if you’re listening, thank you for sharing that with me. Your courage in exploring your grief journey helps others feel less alone.

Speaking of journeys, let’s catch up with those who might join us for the first time. We have been on this fascinating exploration of grief recovery archetypes. First, we met the explorer, those brave souls like Jamie who forge their own healing paths, trying new ways to process their grief. Then we spent time with the visionary, those beautiful spirits who create meaning and imagine new possibilities while keeping their loved one’s memory close to their hearts.

And today we are diving into something special, the social community archetype. And you know what? After hearing from Jamie and so many others in our community the timing couldn’t be better to talk about how we find and create connections that understand our grief journey. Let’s talk about something that’s been on my heart lately. When we are grieving, especially after multiple losses like I experienced, it’s not just about finding any support group. It’s about finding the ideal one. And I know firsthand how challenging that search can be.

In today’s episode, I am diving deep into what real grief support looks like. I’m not talking about the generic time heals all wounds advice, but about an authentic connection with people who truly understand your unique journey. Whether you’re dealing with sibling loss, parental loss, or like me, multiple losses within a short time, I am going to explore how to find your ideal grief tribe. We are focused on healing through community support.

I’m gonna share my personal journey of searching for the right support, why traditional one-size-fits-all grief groups sometimes miss the mark, and most importantly, how to find or create the specialized support system you need. Plus, I will give you practical resources that have helped both me and our podcast community find their way through complex grief. If you ever feel isolated in your grief, this episode could change everything.

So the question I had asked earlier was, have you ever felt like you’re searching for your grief tribe, people who understand your unique journey of loss? I’ve been there and I want to share something important for finding your community in grief. When I first stepped into the world of grief support, I discovered something unexpected. Grief groups can be invaluable, but finding the ideal community, one that resonates with your special experience, can be challenging, especially when you are carrying the weight of multiple losses.

Let me be clear, every loss matters. Whether someone has lost a spouse, a child, a parent, a sibling, or a pet, each grief journey is valid and deserving of support. But here’s what I’ve learned through my experience. Our needs for connection can be as unique as our losses. On my journey, I sat in bereavement groups looking for connection. I met wonderful people, widowers sharing their stories, parents grieving children, and occasionally someone who had lost a parent or a sibling. But something was missing. I was carrying the complexity of multiple losses all within 14 months. How do you process that? How do you find others who understand the layered nature of cumulative grief?

While well intentioned, the traditional support system often felt like they were offering one-size-fits-all solutions. The hospital’s eight-week bereavement program handed out leaflets about coping mechanisms and surviving the holidays. Grief Share, a 13-week program, provided tools for managing grief, but I needed a connection with others who understand the complexity of multiple losses, not just tools. This gap in support wasn’t just a challenge, it became a calling. That’s why I created this podcast, to build the kind of community I wish I had found.

Here’s what I have learned. Healing happens in circles, not lines. When we gather with others who understand our unique grief journey, whether it’s multiple loss, sibling loss, or parental loss, something magical happens. We start to feel less isolated and more understood as we begin our shared healing journey. And you know what? Something beautiful is happening in our community. Every week, I receive messages that warm my heart and confirm what I’ve always believed, that creating space for special grief experiences matters. Authors are reaching out, sharing how they are writing books about sibling loss and parental loss, inspired by the stories they have heard on this podcast. Our conversations are sparking creativity and encouraging others to share their own journeys.

Here’s what I want you to know. It’s okay to need a different kind of support. It’s okay to acknowledge that while all grief deserves respect and understanding, you might need to connect with people who have walked a similar path to yours. Whether you’re dealing with multiple losses, cumulative grief, or special types of loss like parental or sibling loss, your need for targeted support is valid.

This is more than just a podcast now. It’s becoming a movement of understanding and connection. When someone writes to me saying, finally someone gets it, I know we’re doing something right. We’re creating ripples of healing that extend far beyond our weekly episodes. Remember, seeking unique support isn’t about discounting other people’s grief experiences. It’s about acknowledging that different laws might require different types of understanding and connection. And that’s exactly what we’re creating here. A community where your special grief journey is seen, heard, and understood.

Let’s get into when grief gets heavy. Understanding why we need support. You know that feeling when everything inside of you is screaming to just pull the covers over your head and shut out the world? I get it. I have been there and I know many of you have. But today, I want to have an honest conversation about what happens when we listen to that voice that tells us to go it alone.

When we talk about social support and grief, we need to first understand what happens when we don’t have it. Let me share something I call the isolation spiral. Here’s what it looks like. You’re grieving, and maybe you tried a support group that didn’t quite fit, Or perhaps you’re thinking, no one really understands what I’m going through anyway. So you pull back. First, it’s just skipping a few social events. Then before you know it, you’re declining every invitation, avoiding phone calls, and your world gets smaller and smaller. But here’s this thing.

This isolation doesn’t just affect your social life. Your body sends you messages too. You might notice extreme tiredness, but still struggling to sleep, or perhaps your appetite has gone haywire. Either you’re not hungry at all, or you’re seeking comfort in food. These aren’t just random symptoms, They are your body’s way of saying, hey, we need some support here.

Then there’s something I call the pause button effect. It’s like your grief gets stuck on pause and while the world keeps moving forward, you feel frozen in place. Without the right support, without people who get your unique type of loss, whether it’s multiple loss, losing a sibling, or the complex grief of losing parents, healing gets delayed. It’s like trying to climb a mountain with no gear. Sure, it’s possible, but why make it harder than it needs to be?

But here’s what I want you to know. It doesn’t have to be this way. All these challenges I have mentioned, they’re not a life sentence. They are clues pointing you toward the importance of finding the ideal support.

Here’s the truth. You don’t have to choose between generic support and no support at all. There’s a middle ground, a place where your special grief journey is understood and honored. And that’s what we’re going to explore next. I’m going to share some practical ways to find your grief community. One that truly understands your unique journey, sibling loss, parental loss, or experiencing several losses as I have.

Doesn’t leave you alone. There are others who understand your grief. They’re looking for you just as much as you’re looking for them. So finding your path, resources for your grief journey. Let’s talk about how to find that community we have been discussing. The one where you don’t have to explain yourself because people just get it. I want to share some resources that have either helped me personally and members of our community.

First, let me speak directly to those of you who are in the raw, early stages of loss. I know everything might feel foggy right now, like you’re trying to navigate through a thick mist. This is where bereavement counseling can be your compass. You know, when I first experienced my losses, I felt like I had to figure everything out on my own. But here’s what I learned. Those first few months are not the time to go it alone.

Bereavement counseling isn’t just about having someone to talk to. It’s about having a guide who can help you find your footing in this new reality you didn’t ask for. Here’s a tip I wish I received earlier. Specialized support groups are out there. I know, when I first mentioned support groups earlier, I talked about how something didn’t quite fit. But here’s the beautiful thing, grief support has evolved. Groups dedicated to sibling loss, parental loss, and multiple losses now exist. These groups do more than just offer support. They educate about the unique aspects of different types of grief. They get that losing a sibling differs from losing a parent and that experiencing multiple losses brings its own complex challenges. And I will leave you those resources on our show notes.

And you know what? This podcast is part of your resources toolkit too. If you’re not ready for face-to-face support, or if you want to explore at your own pace, our episodes on sibling loss and parental loss are always here for you. Think of them as a gentle starting point, a way to hear stories from others who have walked similar paths. Many of our listeners tell me they listen to these episodes multiple times, finding new pieces of wisdom and comfort with each listen. I will leave you some inspiring episodes in the show notes.

Here’s what I want you to remember as you explore these resources. It’s not about finding the ideal fit right away. It’s about taking small steps toward connection. Maybe you just start by just listening to podcast episodes. Then perhaps you reach out to a bereavement counselor. Eventually, you might find yourself ready for a specialized support group. There’s no right order, no perfect timeline. The key is to remain open to support, even if your first attempt doesn’t quite click. Because somewhere out there is a community that will feel like coming home, where your grief is understood, your losses are honored, and your journey toward healing is supported.

As we conclude today’s episode about finding your grief community, I can’t help but think about how far we have all come together. We have talked about the search for genuine connection, about why those one-size-fits-all support groups sometimes leave us feeling more alone than supported, and about finding that precious space where people just get it. Before we part ways today, I want to share a little personal note.

The holiday season is approaching and with it comes my birthday month, a time that’s always filled with mixed emotions for those of us walking this grief journey. I’ll be taking a brief pause from our grief recovery archetype series to reflect, celebrate, and set some intentions for 2025. Sometimes taking that space to breathe and reset is exactly what we need.

Next week will be a replay of a topic that most of you will gain some valuable wisdom from. I left our grief archetype quiz in the show notes for those of you eager to continue this journey of self-discovery. Think of it as a little gift from me to you, a way to keep exploring and understanding your unique grief path, even while I’m away.

I want to say something about the upcoming holiday season to each one of you, my wonderful, creative, resilient community of listeners. Please remember this, there’s no rule book for how to handle the holidays while grieving. Whether you choose to embrace traditions, create new ones, or simply take each day as it comes, whatever feels right for you is right for you. No overthinking needed.

I’ll be back in the new year with part four of our grief recovery archetypes, refreshed and ready to continue this journey together. Until then, grieve with grace, nurture your inner strength, and lean with a courageous heart. Take care of those precious hearts and I’ll see you.

Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Overcoming Grief. If you’re ready to move into a new, rewarding life experience, and want more information about how to work with Sandy, visit www.sandylinda.com.