Ep #13: Avoiding Financial Grief After Divorce

Did you know that grief isn’t limited to death? Have you ever considered divorce as a profound form of grief? While most people focus on the emotional aspects of divorce, there is an often overlooked aspect, the financial loss that frequently follows. Surprising, isn’t it? Studies reveal that this economic impact can endure for about five years, particularly affecting women.

So today, join me on a journey toward financial resilience post-divorce grief. I’m going to explore a side of grief that doesn’t always get the attention it deserves. The grief that accompanies a life altering transition, such as divorce.

Welcome to Overcoming Grief, a show for women experiencing profound grief and looking for support in healing and transforming their lives. If you are ready to heal after loss, create a new self-identity, take responsibility to do the hard things, and get massive results in your life, this show is for you. Now, here’s your host, Master Grief and Life Coach, Sandy Linda.

Hello, marvelous listeners. How’s everyone doing? Hope you all are having a great day or evening and catching up on another podcast episode. So for me, I had an awesome meetup session with a dear friend last week, Jackie. We go way back, all the way to a meet up event she hosted seven years ago. Ever since, we stayed close sharing life’s ups and downs.

So last week, I caught up with my friend Jackie who happens to be a divorce attorney with a thriving practice. We were reminiscing about the good old days and discussing the unique challenges she faced in her line of work. She shared some eye opening stories about her clients who are often overwhelmed with anger and struggling to cope with the emotional whirlwind of ending their marriages.

But here’s the kicker. Many of them are blindsided by the financial chaos that often follows divorce. They didn’t see it coming, and it hit them like a ton of bricks. You know, to me, it’s heartbreaking to think about so many folks just aren’t ready to handle the financial side of divorce. They end up in a real mess. Now, Jackie spends a lot of her time advising her clients to get their financial act together, gather their documents, and brace themselves for what’s ahead.

So hearing Jackie’s stories reminded me how important it is to be proactive even when you are caught up in the emotional storms of divorce. The conversation sparked an idea for today’s podcasts. Let’s talk about how to get ready for the financial changes that come with divorce and how to cope with grief that often tags along.

Now, just to be clear, I’m not some fancy financial planner with initials after my name. I am more like your friendly neighborhood guide here to give you the lowdown on financial basics after you weathered some emotional storms. In the show notes, I’ll hook you up with some valuable resources in case you want to dive deeper into the building your financial future. Consider it like the treasure map to your financial success.

Just like the grief that follows the loss of a loved one, divorce grief is quite a unique process. It’s got its emotional stages, its own set of challenges, and a bunch of adjustments that come along with it. But here’s the thing. Grief doesn’t show up when we’re dealing with loss in the traditional sense. It sneaks in during those big life changes too.

Like when your relationships get a major shakeup, divorce, or your identity goes into crisis, the loss of a loved one no longer is available to assist you on certain things. Or you find yourself reimagining all those dreams you had. So yeah, the end of a marriage. It’s kind of losing a loved one, but it’s not just the emotional roller coaster.

When you’re getting a divorce, it’s like saying goodbye to some of those dreams and hopes you held really close to your heart. It’s almost like you’re hitting the reset button on how you see the world. Well, when you’re going through a divorce or any major breakup, it’s like a wind storm of feelings and thoughts, right? It’s like a wild ride of emotions that comes with all those losses you’re dealing with. It also rocks the boat when it comes to your financial security, and the plans you have for your future. It’s like a double whammy, isn’t it?

Allow me to take a moment to give you some wisdom from women who’ve been through the storms of life, whether losing a loved one or experiencing a divorce. As it turns out that there is a whopping 76% of divorcees that wish they were more involved in those long term financial decisions during their marriages.

Looking back, they wish for greater money engagement. It seems to hold valuable insight, especially when life throws them into the complex aftermath of these significant life changes. But it’s not just a wish. It’s a defense against those nasty financial surprises. Surprisingly, a solid 74% of women stumble upon these unpleasant financial revelations after a spouse’s divorce, emphasizing the importance of staying actively connected to financial matters throughout life’s journey.

After five years of divorce, one might expect things to get back to normal. But a crazy fact pops up. More than half of individuals going through a divorce, especially with women, acknowledge that they made financial mistakes during this life transition. This highlights that dealing with the financial parts of divorce can be complex, and many people might not get everything right. It’s a common experience. So you’re not alone if you felt this way.

So let’s have a little heart to heart here. We often chat about going through the grieving process, almost like it’s a clear cut journey where you start. Follow these five stages and then boom, you’re back to your old self. But you know what? Our brains didn’t get that memo. They don’t always play along.

Sometimes that healing process takes much longer than we prefer. Heck, for some folks, grief never quite let go. Guess what? That’s okay. It’s all part of the deal. The truth is, there is no single right way to grieve. It’s a unique journey for each of us.

Now, when it comes to the divorce aspect of the grief, and you’re wondering if your grief is a sign of making a mistake. Let me tell you, it’s not feeling that sorrow doesn’t imply you messed up by getting divorce. It simply means you’re human. It’s okay to grieve the decisions you made and mourn the end of your marriage, even if it was the right choice.

So let me explain one client story. She is a strong and resilient woman who found herself in life altering storm. She discovered that her husband, whom she had been married for over a decade, had been unfaithful. The revelation came as a shock and anger as my clients world was turned upside down. As she navigated the rough waters of betrayal, resentment, then the divorce, she reached out for help.

She was referred by my past associates as I offer her guidance through the challenge of grief and loss. At that moment, I knew in my heart that grief does not come in the form of death. It can result from heartbroken relationship, job loss, and financial security. It was so amazing that this opportunity, the client waves of emotions were disrupted. She felt a profound sense of loss not only for her marriage, but for the dreams and plans she had, and her husband had shared.

The emotional pain was undeniable, and she found herself drowning in a sea of grief. You see, grief comes in different shapes and sizes, and it doesn’t have to be on a form of death. So together we embark on a journey to help her regain her financial health after devastating loss. We started creating a financial future planning. We knew that we had to address her emotional wellbeing then her financial being so that she can start rebuilding her life with clarity and confidence.

The process was not without its challenges, but with each step, Mary grew stronger, more emotionally, and financially resilient. So one of the first things we did was to check out her financial situation. So I gave her some worksheets that can help check out her financial situation. She looked closely at what she owned, owed, and any financial stuff that she and her husband shared. That helped her figure out what was going on and how to get a grip on her finances. Knowledge is power when you get a firm grip on your finances.

Next, she tackled any outstanding debts, including the joint financial responsibilities she had shared with her husband. She needed to understand how financial rights and responsibilities, especially in the context of her divorce settlement. I highly encouraged my client to envision her financial future. This was a necessary step in providing her with a clear roadmap for her financial goals.

With a reframe of her mindset, she was motivated to take action. Through it all, she was adapting to her new normal, embracing the fresh start that the divorce presented. While the emotional wounds were still healing, she gained confidence and clarity about her financial situation. She was on the path to creating her financial health and taking control of her life.

So now that we know about our client’s incredible journey to creating her financial health after a huge setback, let’s move on to some practical tips and strategies that can help you, like our client, navigate your way to financial stability and wealth. These tips are designed to help you gain financial wisdom and work toward creating wealth after loss. Whether you’ve experienced divorce or any other significant life change, these strategies can provide you with the tools you need to create a more stable and a thriving financial future.

So let’s dive into these practical steps to empower you to become financially secured with informed creative wealth. So number one, get to know your financial picture. So once you weather the storm of divorce, it’s time to get a handle on your finances. So start by taking a close look at what you own, what you owe, and any financial commitments you shared with your ex-spouse. This will give you a clearer picture of your financial situation and set you on the path to planning your financial future.

Understanding your position empowers you to make informed decisions that align with your goals and put you back in control. Believe me. Doing this part is going to set you up for having better informed decisions and asking better questions when you speak with an advisor.

Number two, tackle your debts. Breaking free from a marriage often involves dealing with financial obligations. It’s crucial to understand all your outstanding debts from mortgages to credit card balances. Once you have a grasp on your debts, you can prioritize your payments, establish a budget, and work towards becoming free of debt.

This step simplifies the post-divorce financial transition and ensure you, you have all the necessary paperwork to finalize your statement. Number three, know your rights. Take time to educate yourself about your legal and financial rights after divorce. Speak with a valuable attorney. Every situation is unique. So understanding what you’re entitled to, and your responsibilities is essential. This knowledge will ensure you receive what you deserve and meet your obligation providing a clear path to financial stability.

Number four, visualize your financial future. Post divorce your financial goals may change whether it’s buying a new home, saving for retirement, or funding a special project. Take a moment to envision your aspiration. Start defining your financial objectives. Create a roadmap that guides your decisions and ensures you’re on track to achieve the stability and independence you desire.

Number five, embrace your new financial reality. Going through a divorce can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity for a fresh start. Understand your financial situation by prioritize your debts and create a budget to work towards becoming free of debt and financially stable. Educate yourself about your legal and financial rights. Visualize your financial future and proactively adapt to your new financial situation. Remember, you’ve got this. Your financial resilience is just around the corner.

All righty, I hope that was enlightening experience and understanding that grief can come in a form of death or divorce. So to recap our main points, we started out by highlighting the often not talked about financial aspects of divorce grief, a form of loss that can impact women for up to five years. We discuss how the grief linked with divorce isn’t limited to emotions alone. It extends to financial factors and life changing transitions.

We shared the critical statistics that 76% of divorcees wish they had been more involved in long term financial decisions while they married. Emphasizing the importance of staying financially informed throughout life. Over half of those going through divorce acknowledged making financial mistakes during that process, which is a common experience. We also stressed that grief is a unique journey for each individual and doesn’t follow a fixed path. Everyone grieves differently, and there’s no right way to grieve.

Now, as we conclude today’s episode, we encourage you to take action. Please apply these practical tips to create your financial health and embark on your journey toward financial resilience. Remember, you’re not alone, and it’s never too late to regain the control of your financial future. The key is to be proactive in form and resilient.

Thank you for tuning in. Remember, healing your heart is just the first step in this adventure. So keep laughing, loving, and savoring that dessert because life is too short to skip the dessert. Catch you on the next episode. Also your financial wellbeing is within reach, and we’re here to guide you on your path. Bye.

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Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Overcoming Grief. If you’re ready to move into a new, rewarding life experience, and want more information about how to work with Sandy, visit www.sandylinda.com.