Ep #69: Blazing New Trails: Finding Purpose Through Personal Loss

Sandy Linda: What if I told you that your grief journey isn’t about healing, it’s about becoming someone who lights the way for others. That moment when you first realize your story can help someone else navigate their loss. You transform your grief story into something bigger than yourself. Stay tuned!

Welcome to Overcoming Grief, a show for women experiencing profound grief and looking for support in healing and transforming their lives. If you are ready to heal after loss, create a new self-identity, take responsibility to do the hard things, and get massive results in your life, this show is for you. Now, here’s your host, Master Grief and Life Coach, Sandy Linda.

Hello, creative humans. Welcome to 2025. As we step into 2025, I want to acknowledge something powerful happening in our grief recovery community. I am seeing more and more of you stepping into leadership roles, creating support groups, starting foundations, writing books, All because you have discovered that your grief journey has given you unique wisdom to share. And I wanna thank you so much for your emails that have shown me that you are writing books about your parental loss or your sibling loss. It’s so amazing to feel engaged and have someone like myself that has gone through parental and sibling loss.

Before my Christmas break, I hosted a special episode about grief recovery archetypes that I have identified through my personal experiences and years of coaching in our previous episode. I walk with you through the first three grief recovery Archetypes we started with the Explorer who bravely forges their own healing path. Then we met the visionary, who imagines new possibilities while honoring their loved one’s memory. Then the community builder showed us how to create safe spaces for shared healing.

Today we are talking about the fourth and final archetype, the Trailblazer. This is where the personal healing journey grows into something extraordinary. When you realize your path through grief hasn’t changed you, it’s preparing you to lead others. You are creating a lasting impact to move forward with unwavering purpose. I will explore what it means to become a trailblazer in your grief journey. Discuss how this archetype represents more than just healing, it’s about transformation. Using grief lessons to build something meaningful and greater than oneself. Whether you’re feeling ready to step into this role or just curious about what comes next in your journey, this episode is for you.

Through my years of grief recovery and opening up to coaching, I have observed how these archetypes aren’t just theories, they’re dynamic phases of personal growth. I have walked this path myself and guided many clients through their own unique journeys, which is why I can recognize these patterns so clearly. When we stop focusing on our own healing and start asking, how can I use what I have learned to help others?

That marks the emergence of the trailblazer archetype. Back in early American history, Trailblazers were people who marked trees to create paths through uncharted wilderness. To ensure safe passage, they carved special marks called blazes into the tree bark. These early trailblazers weren’t just creating paths, they were opening up new possibilities for those who would follow. Sound familiar?

In our grief recovery journey, a trailblazer takes on an even deeper meaning. We are marking the way through uncharted emotional territory, not just for ourselves, but for everyone who comes after us. We are creating visible markers of hope and possibilities for others walking similar paths.

What makes this archetype so powerful in grief recovery is that trailblazers don’t just overcome obstacles, they transform them into stepping stones. They take their experience of loss and instead of letting it define their limitations, use it to define their direction. They are the ones who say, yes, this grief has changed me and I’m going to use that change to create something meaningful.

As trailblazers, moving through grief, you face unique challenges that others might not understand. Let me share what I’ve witnessed in my journey and through supporting others. I want to talk about something raw and real today, that internal tug of war that happens when you see glimpses of light again after a loss. You know those moments I’m talking about. Maybe it’s that first genuine laugh that catches you by surprise and then immediately feels like a betrayal or that exciting new job opportunity that you were afraid to even consider because is it too soon?

I remember the exact moment I caught myself dreaming about the future again. It felt both exciting and terrifying. That’s what we’re diving in today. The complex emotional landscape of becoming a trailblazer through grief. Here’s what I have discovered both through my journey and walking alongside others. That guilt you feel when joy sneaks back in, It’s not just normal. It’s a sign that you’re beginning to heal. That question of who am I now isn’t just about loss. It’s the beginning of discovering your new potential.

What if I told you that creating a different life isn’t about leaving your loved one behind, but about carrying their legacy forward in a new way? What if these internal struggles are not roadblocks, but signposts pointing toward your next chapter. In the next few minutes, I will share some strategies that have helped my clients and myself navigate this internal tug of war. Now that I have explored the internal struggles, let’s talk about something equally important, the timing of your dreams. You know that voice in your head that whispers, “It’s too soon.” Whenever you think about taking a step forward, let’s have an honest conversation about that.

Here’s the truth about timing after loss. There’s no universal timeline for when you should start dreaming again. That’s right, no rule book, no grief schedule, no predetermined moment when it becomes appropriate to think about your future. I remember sitting with a client who had this brilliant business idea, something that would help others going through loss. But she kept putting it off, telling herself, it’s too soon. When I asked her, whose timeline she was living on? She broke down. She said, “I don’t know. I just feel like I should wait longer.” That’s when we had a breakthrough conversation about replacing “too soon” with “right for me”.

Here’s what I want you to understand. Your dreams aren’t betraying your loss. They are responding to it. They are part of how you carry your loved one’s legacy forward. But timing those dreams, that’s deeply personal. It’s not about rushing forward or holding back. It’s about moving at the pace that feels true to you.

Stay with me as we unpack how to navigate these feelings and discover what’s possible when you’re ready to move forward with purpose. If you connect with this and feel the urge to pursue something greater, but need guidance, my coaching program is here to help. Because sometimes we need someone who’s walked this path to help light the way.

What I’m about to share might just be what you need to hear right now. Let me share some practical strategies I have found transformative for navigating these internal struggles and the delicate dance of timing, both from my personal experience and from working with others who are creating their new path forward.

So the first one is reframing joy and success. I want you to create a “both and” mentality. Here’s a powerful truth that many of us need to hear. You can both miss your loved one and embrace new happiness. Think of it like holding two precious things in your hands at once. In one hand, you hold your grief, your memories, the love that never dies. In one hand, you hold your grief, your memories, your love that endures. In the other, you hold your emerging joy, your new dreams, your right to smile again. Neither diminish the other. The intensity of your past love makes future joy possible. Here’s an example of how you learn to find joy without feeling guilty. The unexpected laugh.

So before you’re at lunch with friends and a genuine laugh bubbles up, immediately guilt crashes in. How can I be laughing when my family is gone? Reframe it by saying, this laughter is proof that my family taught me how to find joy even in hard times. My ability to laugh honors how my family lived.

This reframing isn’t about positive thinking or forcing happiness. Allow yourself to embrace life while keeping your loved one’s memory alive in meaningful ways. If you’re struggling with finding this balance, this is what we work through in my coaching program. Creating personalized strategies for embracing joy while honoring your journey.

Start a joy journal, document moments of happiness and write how your loved one would celebrate these wins with you. Another is practicing Self-compassion dialogue. Here’s one for you. My happiness honors their love for me. You see, as trailblazers, we’re not choosing between honoring our loved ones and embracing happiness. We are pioneering a new way of living where both can coexist. Where our past and future aren’t at war, but in conversations with each other. Where every new Joy becomes a tribute to the love that shaped us.

Let me break down the delicate dance of timing. Allow me to share a transformative strategy I call the stepping stones approach. Think of it like crossing a stream. You don’t leap from one bank to the other. You find those steady stones to help you cross. Here’s what this looks like in real life.

I worked with a client who dreamed of starting a foundation in honor of her father. The idea of launching an entire foundation felt overwhelming. Too big, too soon, too much. So we broke down into stepping stones.

The first stone, journaling ideas about what the foundation could be. Second stone, researching one similar foundation per week. Third stone, having coffee with someone who runs a small non-profit. Fourth stone, creating a straightforward mission statement. And the fifth stone, sharing the idea with one trusted friend. See what’s happening here? All stone is small enough to feel manageable, but significant enough to move you forward.

There’s no pressure to jump to the next stone until you feel steady on the current one. What makes this strategy so powerful is that it honors both your dream and your grief. You’re not rushing the process or forcing yourself to be ready. Instead, you’re giving yourself permission to explore at your own pace. Each small step becomes a conversation with yourself about what feels right.

The beauty of the stepping stones approach is that it transforms too soon into just this next small step. It’s not about reaching the other side of the stream by tomorrow. It’s about finding your next steady stone to stand on. As a trailblazer, you’re not just crossing the stream. You’re mapping the route for others who will come after you. Each stone you test, each path you discover, becomes part of the trail you are blazing.

As we wrap up today’s exploration of the Trailblazer archetype, let’s take a moment to reflect on the key insights we have uncovered together. First, remember that becoming a trailblazer isn’t about leaving your grief behind, it’s about transforming it into something meaningful. You’re not just healing, you’re creating a legacy that honors both your loved one and your own growth.

We have learned that the internal struggles you face, the guilt with joy, the uncertainty about timing, the question about identity, aren’t obstacles. They are signposts pointing you toward your next evolution. Each time you navigate these challenges you’re not just finding your way, you are marking the path for others.

The stepping stones approach we discuss shows us that moving forward doesn’t require giant leaps. Each small step taken when it feels right for you builds the bridge between honoring your past and creating your future. Remember, there’s no timeline for transformation, only the rhythm that feels authentic to you.

Perhaps most importantly, we discover that being a trailblazer means pioneering a new way of living where both grief and growth can coexist. Where every new joy becomes a tribute to love that shapes you and every step forward carries your loved one’s legacy. If you are resonating with these ideas, if you are feeling that pull towards something bigger, but aren’t sure how to navigate it, know that you’re not alone. Therefore, I created the coaching program for trailblazers because sometimes the bravest thing we can do is admit we don’t have to blaze these trails alone.

If you’re interested in learning more about the program, I will leave all the information on the show notes. Just click on apply today to schedule a meeting on my calendar and start your journey to trailblaze your grief. And let’s move forward with an unwavering purpose. Your grief journey has given you unique wisdom. Now it’s time to use that wisdom to light the way for others while creating something meaningful for yourself. That’s what being a trailblazer is all about.

Until then, remember, you’re not just surviving your grief, you are blazing a trail through it. Thank you so much for listening and have a beautiful, wonderful week. Bye.

Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Overcoming Grief. If you’re ready to move into a new, rewarding life experience, and want more information about how to work with Sandy, visit www.sandylinda.com.