Ep #74: Love Redefined: A Call-to-Action for the Brokenhearted

Valentine’s Day, my sister’s birthday, and my father’s angel anniversary. How do you navigate a calendar filled with hearts and heartache? Join me for an intimate conversation about finding light in February’s darkness, redefining these milestone moments. Stay tuned.

Welcome to The Reinvention Lab: Where Ambitious Women Transform Loss into Legacy. Hosted by Master Certified Life Coach and fellow trailblazer, Sandy Linda, this is your space to discover how life’s biggest challenges can ignite profound transformation—where grief becomes growth, setbacks become stepping stones, and your unique story lights the way for others. If you’re ready to turn life’s challenges into opportunities for leadership, legacy, and forward momentum, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive in.

Hello, creative humans and fellow trailblazers. Welcome back to another episode. February, a month filled with love and festive celebrations. For many of us, February isn’t just another month. It’s walking into an emotional battlefield. One moment, you’re seeing heart shape everything in store windows. Next thing, you are caught off guard by a memory of someone who’s no longer here to share these moments with you.

Let’s be real. When those hallmark Valentine’s Day commercials start playing, some of us aren’t feeling the love. We’re thinking, really? Another manufactured holiday trying to tell us how to express love. But here’s what I have learned on my grief journey. We don’t have to follow society’s script. Instead, what if we could rewrite these days in our own language of love?

In today’s episode, I am diving deep into three powerful themes that have transformed my February story. I’ll share how a shift in language from calling it a death anniversary to an angel anniversary changed everything for me. You will discover how finding new words for our experiences can open unexpected doors to healing.

I will discuss the unexpected teacher on my grief journey. I’ll take you through my discovery of my sister’s journals and how her words, even the difficult ones, became a powerful tool for forgiveness and celebration. Sometimes our greatest lessons come from the most unexpected places.

Finally, I will tackle the question that keep us at night. Can we find our way back to celebrating milestones without betraying our grief? I’ll explore how to hold joy and sorrow in your hearts, especially during a month that seems to demand so much emotional energy from you.

This conversation isn’t just about surviving February. It’s about transforming how we experience love, loss, and celebration in our lives. Whether you are navigating your own grief journey or supporting someone who is, today’s episode will give you new ways to think about these challenging times.

Losing a parent shifts our world, especially how we understand love. After losing my father, February felt like an emotional battlefield. February 20th loomed ahead as a heavy marker of loss, what I call his death anniversary. But over time, something beautiful and unexpected happened. I discovered that grief, like love, has the power to transform.

Losing my father changed my experience of love. His physical absence made me aware of his spiritual presence and the values he instilled in me, my approach to challenges and how I love others. Losing him opened my heart to a deeper understanding of love. Love I learn doesn’t end when someone becomes our angel. It evolves, taking on new forms and meanings.

This transformation in my understanding of love led me to question the language I use to mark significant dates. Last year, when I recorded an episode about milestones and remembrance days, I used the term death anniversary. It felt too final to focus on what I lost rather than what remained. But something profound shifted in me as I dive further into the language of grief.

Through conversations with other grief advocates and my healing journey, I discovered a gentler, more meaningful way to honor these sacred dates. The angel anniversary. Think about it. When we say death anniversary, our hearts constrict around the loss, the absence, and the pain. The term angel anniversary opens up a space for something more.

It resonated deeply with my journey, just as my love for my father had not died, but has grown. A new way of marking February 20th, transform a day of mourning into one of sacred connection. An angel anniversary acknowledges the pain of physical separation and the enduring love. It honors how our relationships with our loved ones evolve after they have become our angels.

As February 20th approaches, my father’s angel of anniversary, I’m not just remembering the day he left this earth. I am celebrating how his love guides me, how his wisdom shapes my decisions, and how our connection remains alive, just in a unique form. The shift perspective has been healing in ways I never imagined. It taught me that love doesn’t diminish with loss, It transforms.

Every angel anniversary becomes an opportunity to celebrate not just the love we shared when my father was here, but the ways his love continues to manifest in my life today. I share this with you not as a prescription for healing, but as an invitation to explore how the language we use shapes our grief journey. When we allow ourselves to reframe these milestone days, we often discover new ways to honor our loved ones while nurturing our own hearts.

Grief sometimes hands you teachers in unexpected places. For me, it was my sister’s journals. Yes, the same sister whose birthday is in February, just days before my father’s angel anniversary. Talk about emotional multitasking, right?

After losing my sister, I couldn’t celebrate her birthday. Our relationship had been complicated. We had this distance between us that felt like an ocean. And I carry this weight of unspoken words and missed connections. But grief has a way of leading us to exactly what we need, even when we are not looking for it.

One day I sat with her journals and let me tell you, sometimes the truth hits you like a splash of cold water on a hot day. There in her handwriting were words that might make anyone back off. She wrote about hating me and about the struggles of me being born second. Here’s the plot twist that nobody tells you about the grief handbook. Finding out your sister’s feelings about me brought comfort.

I know it sounds crazy, right? But stay with me. Those raw unfiltered thoughts became the bridge I needed. Finally, I could understand the source of our distant sisterhood. Her words, though tough to read, became the key to unlocking forgiveness for me. I recall the wrongdoing without being judgmental or self-pitying.

10 years later, I can say something that might sound impossible in the senses of grief. My sister became one of my greatest teachers in love and anger management. Who would have thought? Through her journals, she taught me it’s okay to write out those messy, angry thoughts. You know, the ones where you’re plotting out revenge scenarios or practicing imaginary arguments in the shower. We all have been there.

But here’s the real gem. Learning to transform that raw anger into something constructive, it’s like an emotional power. Now, when someone comes at me with anger, instead of matching their energy, I think about those journals. I remember how my sister’s written words, even in their harshness, ultimately led to healing. It helps me approach these conversations with more compassion, turning what could be a destructive exchange into a constructive dialogue.

I am celebrating my sister’s birthday and my father’s angel anniversary this month. I have learned that love isn’t always wrapped in pretty packages with perfect bows. Sometimes it comes bound in old journals, scribbled in angry handwriting, waiting for us to discover its lessons about forgiveness, healing, and transforming pain into purpose.

Let’s discuss something many of us struggle with on this grief journey. The guilt of feeling joy again, especially around significant dates. You know the question that keeps many of us up at night. Can we find our way back to celebrating milestones without betraying our loved one’s memories?

Here’s what I’ve learned in my decade of navigating February’s emotional landscape. It’s been a journey of redefining what love and celebration are after loss. I want to share some heart-tested ways that have helped me transform these challenging days into meaningful connection.

First, let’s talk about creating a memory space, which I like to call your love anchor. This isn’t just about setting up a photo on a shelf, though that’s perfectly fine too. It’s about crafting a sacred space that feels like a warm hug from your loved one. Maybe it’s a cozy corner with your dad’s favorite reading chair, or a park bench where you can feel your sibling’s presence.

For me, I have created a small area where I keep my sister’s journals and my father’s cherished items. It becomes my go-to spot when February’s emotions felt overwhelming.

Next, and this one’s been transformational for me. Write it out. You know how I discovered healing through my sister’s journals. Well, that taught me the power of putting our feelings on paper. Start your own dialogue with your loved ones. Tell them about your day, share your victories, confess your struggles.

Sometimes I write letters to my dad about how his wisdom still guides me or jot down memories of things that made us laugh. It’s amazing how healing it can be to keep that conversation going just in a unique form.

And here’s the game-changer though, creating new rituals. But here’s the key that nobody tells you, choose something sustainable. Don’t feel pressure to plan an elaborate celebration if that doesn’t feel right. Maybe it’s as simple as having your loved one’s favorite meal on their angel anniversary, or playing their favorite song while you take a walk.

I started a tradition of journaling on my sister’s birthday and doing one act of kindness on my father’s angel anniversary. Small gestures that honor their legacy without overwhelming me. The beautiful thing about these practices is that they help us hold joy and sorrow together. Because let’s be honest, that’s what life after loss is about. It’s okay to laugh at a funny memory and tear up five minutes later. It’s okay to celebrate Valentine’s Day and still miss your person. You can create new traditions and still love the old ones.

Remember, choosing to celebrate isn’t betraying your grief. It’s transforming into a new kind of love. Your loved one’s greatest legacy might just be teaching you how to love in their absence, how to find joy even in the middle of missing them, and how to carry their light forward in ways that feel authentic to you.

As we wrap up today’s episode, I want to circle back to something profound that happens when we lose someone we love, especially a parent or sibling. Our entire understanding of love undergoes this incredible transformation. It’s like putting on a new pair of glasses and suddenly seeing everything with crystal clarity.

When my father was alive, his love was just there, but here’s the beautiful thing I have discovered. His passing didn’t end that love. It deepened my understanding of it. Loss has this way of teaching us that love isn’t confined to physical presence. It lives on, shapes us, guides us, even after our loved ones become our angels.

That is why I shifted from death anniversary to angel anniversary. It’s more than just swapping words. It’s about re-imagining our relationship with loss and love. Think about it. When we say angel anniversary, we are opening the door to something more hopeful. Yes, there’s still sadness. I won’t sugarcoat that. But there’s also this beautiful acknowledgement that our connection continues just in a different form. It’s like transforming a dark room into one filled with soft, comforting light.

I’ve shared some practical ways to honor these sacred dates, creating memory spaces, writing letters, starting new rituals. But remember, these are just starting points. Your journey of remembrance should be as unique as your relationship with your loved one. Maybe you’ll find comfort in cooking their favorite meals, or perhaps you honor them through random acts of kindness. Whatever you choose, know that it doesn’t have to be perfect. Sometimes the smallest gestures hold the deepest meaning.

Before we wrap up, I want to leave you with this thought. Choosing to celebrate and remember isn’t betraying our grief. It’s transforming into a new love story. One that continues to unfold, evolve, and surprise us with its depth and resilience.

Now, I love to hear from you. How are you navigating this journey of redefining love after loss? What unique ways have you found to celebrate your loved ones? Sometimes the most healing moments come from sharing our stories and learning from each other’s paths.

Remember that your love story doesn’t end with loss. It just enters a new chapter. Till then, grieve with grace, nurture your inner strength and lead with courageous hearts. Bye everyone.

Thanks for joining us on The Reinvention Lab. If today’s episode inspired you, don’t forget to follow and share it with someone who’s ready to turn their challenges into opportunities. Want to take your journey to the next level? Visit sandylinda.com/program and apply for coaching today. Together, we’ll turn your story into a legacy. Until next time, keep moving forward with purpose, passion, and power.