
Have you ever felt like grief has left you lost and alone, struggling to find your way forward? What if I told you that the key to transforming tragedy into triumph lies in the language you use to describe your experience? The words we choose have the power to shape our entire journey through loss and beyond.
In this episode, I share my own story of profound grief and the conversation with a dear friend that inspired me to explore the language of limitation versus possibility. Like many of us, I found myself stuck in an echo chamber of phrases like “I am an orphan now” and “I’m not equipped for this.” These words became the lens through which I viewed every decision and every moment.
But what I discovered is that these limiting narratives are not the end of our stories. They are invitations to rewrite them. Join me as I dive into practical strategies for recognizing and reframing the phrases that keep us stuck, so you can step into a future filled with possibility and purpose. Your story is not over, and the most profound transformation awaits.
If you’re feeling a pull towards something bigger, but aren’t sure how to navigate it, you need to join my coaching program for Trailblazers, because you don’t have to blaze these trails alone. Click here to apply now!
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- Why the language we use after loss becomes the lens through which we view our entire experience.
- How to recognize the limiting phrases that keep you stuck in grief and loneliness.
- The power of reframing your internal dialogue from past tense limitations to present tense possibilities.
- Why saying “I can’t” keeps you trapped, and how to shift to “I’m learning to…”
- How to use “future self” language to actively rewire your brain to see pathways forward.
- The simple journaling exercise that helps you rewrite your story one word at a time.
- Why your loss is not the end, but the beginning of a new chapter where you are both author and hero.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- Are you ready to navigate the mourning process and connect with your emotions? Click here to get my Mourning Journaling Workbook to help you embrace your internal grief, expressing it through writing!
- Overcoming Grief: Championing Through Multiple Losses by Sandy Linda
- Want to know your grief archetype? Take this quiz to find out!
Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to The Reinvention Lab: Where Ambitious Women Transform Loss into Legacy. Hosted by Master Certified Life Coach and fellow trailblazer, Sandy Linda, this is your space to discover how life’s biggest challenges can ignite profound transformation—where grief becomes growth, setbacks become stepping stones, and your unique story lights the way for others. If you’re ready to turn life’s challenges into opportunities for leadership, legacy, and forward momentum, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive in.
Hello, creative humans. How are you all doing today? I am so happy to be here with you all again today. As I was preparing for this episode, I was reminded of a conversation I had with my dear friend, Jen, over the holiday break. Jen and I have been on a similar grief journey, both of us losing our parents within a short period of time. I learned of Jen’s profound loneliness, both within her family and in her daily life when I reconnected with her. The words she said, “I am all alone in this,” kept echoing in her mind, making it so difficult for her to find the energy to move forward. The feeling of being lost and unsupported, of losing my guiding lights, remains a powerful memory. When I connected with Jen, I understood the profound impact of how we talk about grief. Instead of seeing ourselves as alone, what if we reframe it? That conversation with Jen was a big part of why I chose to focus this podcast episode on the language of limitation versus possibility. I believe that the words we use have the power to shape our entire grief journey. Whether we’re stuck in loss or rising up to transform it.
So I am delighted to dive into this topic with you all today. We will explore how we can rewrite the narrative of our grief and step into a future filled with possibility because your story is not over. In this episode, I will dive into the power of our language in shaping our grief experience. How to recognize and reframe the limiting phrases that keep us stuck. And of course, practical strategies for transforming loss into a lasting legacy. Let’s get started.
Now, how loss creates a feedback loop in our internal dialogue. You know that moment when your world goes silent and all you can hear are the thoughts echoing in your own mind. After losing my mom, dad, and sister, my internal dialogue became a broken record of two devastating phrases. I am an orphan now, and I’m not equipped for this. These weren’t just words, they became the lens through which I viewed every decision, every morning, with every breath. Picture waking up each day, reaching for your phone to call your mom about a decision, only to remember she’s not there. Then thinking dad would know exactly what to do here, but he’s gone too. And your sister, who was supposed to be your lifelong witness to it all, the empty space where her laughter used to be, these losses didn’t just change my daily routines, they shattered the very framework of how I made decisions.
The well-meaning people around me, friends, colleagues, tried to help, but they were living in a different dimension. One where life was still following its expected script. They couldn’t fully step into this ultra-reality where grief had rewritten all the rules. It’s like being dropped into a foreign country where you don’t speak the language and everyone else is fluently conversing about their normal day. I find myself stuck in this strange mystery. I was going through the motions of my job, the same work I’d done confidently for years, but suddenly feeling like a complete novice. When your role strips you of every family member who helped shape your identity. the familiar becomes foreign. Every decision felt crowded with this new overwhelming solitude.
But here’s what I learned, and I want you to know if you’re in this space right now, this feeling of being powerless, of being alone, it’s not your final destination. It’s part of the journey of transformation. Those echoing phrases in your minds They’re not revelations. They are invitations to rewrite your story.
I want you to pause with me for a moment. Think about your own echo chamber. Those phrases that keep bouncing around in your mind after loss. Maybe you’re hearing, I’ll never get past this, or everything is falling apart. Perhaps no one understands what I’m going through, or I can’t do this on my own. These aren’t just leading thoughts. They become the soundtrack of our days, influencing every choice we make, every step we take or don’t take. Take a deep breath with me and notice how those thoughts feel in your body right now. You know, those persistent echoes telling you I’ll never get past this or no one understands what I’m going through.
Now, let me share something fascinating I have discovered about these thoughts that change everything for me. You see, when life throws us these unexpected curveballs. Whether it’s losing someone we love, facing a career setback , or watching friendships fade, our minds start working overtime. It’s like we have this internal meaning making machines that kicks into high gear trying to make sense of our new reality. And here’s what makes this so challenging. We don’t just observe what’s happening, we instantly assign meaning to it based on our deepest fears and past experiences.
This is what my journey has taught me. In moments of dramatic change, our first instant is to pick up a familiar explanation. I’m all alone now, or I’m not worthy. Because more than just thoughts, they become the lenses through which we view everything. It’s like putting on a pair of dark sunglasses indoors. Suddenly, everything looks darker than it really is.
Think about it. When was the last time you caught yourself in this cycle? The moment I’m not worthy crosses your mind. It transforms into something more. It becomes the director of your life’s movie, influencing every scene. You might find yourself desperately reaching out to people, seeking validation or making demands that stem from this place of perceived unworthiness. I know I did. I would look at others living their normal lives and think, why can’t they see how much I am drowning?
But here’s the wisdom I want to share with you. Something I learned in my transformation. No one else can hand you your worth or fill the emptiness of feeling alone. The real transformation begins when you realize that these meanings you have assigned, these stories you are telling yourself, are just that. Stories. And here’s the beautiful part. If we can write one story, we can write another.
I want to share something powerful with you about this journey of transforming our language. You know those moments when you catch yourself thinking, I’m not worthy? Instead of letting that thought spiral, imagine it’s like standing at a doorway. Behind you is the familiar room of limitation, but ahead of you, that’s where possibility lives. And here’s the beautiful thing. You get to choose which way to walk. This isn’t about plastering on a smile or pretending everything is fine. We’re not here to deny your pain or sugarcoat your struggles. What we are doing is far more profound. You are learning to reshape your relationship with loss while honoring your journey.
Think of it like learning a new language, the language of possibility. All right, now let me share some practical techniques that have been transformative for me and countless others I’ve worked with. You can practice these during quiet moments, while taking a walk or through journaling.
First, notice how you often speak in past tense resolutions. I’ll never be the same without them. You could turn it into present. I’m growing into someone who carries their love differently. Do you feel the shift there? It’s slight, but profound. Second, catch those I can’t moments. When you hear yourself say, I can’t do this alone, try softening it to, I’m learning to navigate this new path. It acknowledges both the challenge and your capacity for growth.
Here’s a powerful one that changed everything for me. I used to say they always knew what to do. and then I transform it into I am discovering my own wisdom. This honors their memory while claiming our power.
Let me share one more technique that’s been especially powerful in my journey and with others. I call it future self-language. Instead of saying I’m broken, try saying, I am in the process of rebuilding. When you catch yourself thinking this is impossible, shift it to, I’m creating new possibilities. This isn’t just wordplay, it’s actively rewiring your brain to see pathways forward.
Now, take a deep breath with me again. Feel the weight of these words in your body. In this safe space where we’re creating together, I invite you to listen closely to your own internal dialogue. What phrases keep repeating? What words have become your constant companions? Notice them without judgment, just as I learned to notice mine.
Here’s the truth I discovered in my darkest moments. These limiting phrases aren’t character flaws or signs of weakness. They are completely normal responses to profound loss, but they don’t have to be the end of your story. They can be the beginning of a new chapter, one where you’re both the author and the hero. How’s that?
And here’s a simple exercise you can try right now. Grab a pen and paper or open a new document on your device. Write down one of those limiting phrases that keeps echoing in your mind. Then take a moment to reframe it using the techniques we discuss. Shift it to present tense, soften the language, or imagine how your future self would speak. Notice how even a small change in wording can shift your perspective. The simple act of rewriting your inner dialogue is the first step towards transforming loss into possibility.
So before I close today, in this episode, we have explored how the language we use has the power to shape our entire grief journey. Whether we are stuck in limitation or rising up to transform our loss into possibility. Here are some key takeaways. The phrases that keep echoing in your minds after loss aren’t just thoughts, but lenses that color your entire perspective. Phrases like I’m not worthy or I’ll never get past this become more than just words. They become the directors of your life’s movie. But these limiting narratives are not permanent or unbreakable. They are invitations to rewrite your story to step into a new language of possibility.
By consciously reframing our internal dialogue, you can begin to see pathways forward. Even in your darkest moments. The truth is, your story is not over. Your loss may have changed the script, but you are the author.
So I invite you to listen closely to your inner voice and start rewriting those limiting phrases one word at a time. The future you are creating is filled with more possibilities than you can imagine.
Thank you so much for listening to this special episode. Have a wonderful week. Bye everyone.
Thanks for joining us on The Reinvention Lab. If today’s episode inspired you, don’t forget to follow and share it with someone who’s ready to turn their challenges into opportunities. Want to take your journey to the next level? Visit sandylinda.com/program and apply for coaching today. Together, we’ll turn your story into a legacy. Until next time, keep moving forward with purpose, passion, and power.
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