Ep #37: “Will My Grief Ever End?” Grief Q&A

Have you ever wondered if grief will ever end? The storm of grief. Can we find peace after the rain? Stay tuned everyone for a special Q&A segment from a courageous email subscriber navigating the waves of grief.

Welcome to Overcoming Grief, a show for women experiencing profound grief and looking for support in healing and transforming their lives. If you are ready to heal after loss, create a new self-identity, take responsibility to do the hard things, and get massive results in your life, this show is for you. Now, here’s your host, Master Grief and Life Coach, Sandy Linda.

Hello creative humans. It’s almost the end of April. I hope you all are having some springtime adventures or on a mini vacation. I understand it’s the holidays for some and wishing you peace and wellness for a great holiday season. As for me, I’ve been consistent with my daily walks. I either walk in nature or I go to the beach. I enjoy those walks by the shore because watching the waves crashing into the shore and listening to audiobooks has helped my mental wellbeing.

I also find that getting lost in audiobooks allows me to forget about my own problems and get wrapped up in someone else’s story because I am listening to this courageous woman who’s going through her grief journey. The title of the book is called Forget Prayers, Bring Cake. I was so livid. I was like oh, there’s some good audiobooks I can listen to and their grief journey is some of it has that rom com stuff because you know I’m into rom com or comedies.

So when I was going on for a walk a few days ago, I walked by the shore, but it was so windy that the sand constantly blew onto my face. I mean, I had my hoodie. I had everything on but still was a constant thing of the sand blowing in my face. But I cut my walk short to an hour instead of the usual 90 minutes because of the intense wind.

After I returned home and wash my face, it felt like I had just had an exfoliating treatment. So I didn’t need no spa day. The spa day was at the beach, but with lovely music, watching the waves, and also listen to an audiobook that’s so funny.

So if you are new here, a warm welcome. To those who are navigating the difficult path of grief, my heart goes out to you, sending love and healing thoughts as you walk on this path of grief. For those who are coming on board, you have an opportunity to go to my website sandylinda.com. I have a special free gift which is a journaling workbook to allow you to heal through writing.

All you need to do is hit the subscribe button on my website at sandylinda.com, enter your name and email, and get your free journaling workbook. What are you’re waiting for? Go get it. This will allow you to heal and embrace your grief narrative.

So in today’s episode, I’m dedicating this time to you our amazing listeners and the questions you have submitted. Through our interactions both online and in person, I’ve noticed some common themes emerge from fellow Grievers and mourners. The one question that I often get is will my grief ever end? Or does it ever get better?

I have to say these are profound questions that strike at the heart of our shared journey through loss and healing. I recently received a heartfelt email from a new subscriber named Laura. In her message, she bravely asked the same question that so many of you have been thinking about. Laura’s questioning presents us with a valuable opportunity to explore this topic and provide healing and guidance to empower you through your grief journey.

I want to thank Laura for taking the time out to send me her questions, but I decided to pull out her story and share it, and she gave me the absolute permission to share it so that I can answer for those who are looking for the answer to will grief ever end. Here is her question but a little story about her.

“Hi, Sandy. Thanks for an incredible episode on unconditional love and how you and your mom are best friends.” Oh, thank you. “I found your episode relatable as you saw your mom as your best friend. However, my mom passed away two weeks ago. I’m 22, and she is only 55. I saw her just the day before, and we had a great Easter, something I will cherish forever.

“I was an only child. So my mom and I were extremely close. I mean, she really was my best friend. It’s been a grueling past few weeks. I truly feel like I’ve lost a piece of myself. All the plans, we had just disappeared in an instant. I’m currently in law school, and she was proud of me. I miss her so much. Sandy, can you tell me if this grief will ever end and if it will get better?”

First off, I want to thank you, Laura, you are young. You took the initiative to jump on a podcast and send me an email and inquired a question. You just went through a recent loss, and that is such a courageous woman have you to take that time and to listen and hear the stories and you felt relatable because you have just lost your mom and you’re working through it. You found the initiative to engage the conversation with me.

Thank you so much for listening and sending your question because you’re not the only one that has this deep, impactful question about will this grief ever end? Does it get better? I wanted to share this human experience, and we can explore it together.

Dealing with grief can be a complex journey. The idea of it ever truly ending can seem heavy. Here’s the truth. There is no one size fits all answer. Within that grief lies immense strength and resilience. So allow me to discuss the strategies for navigating that darkness, honoring your loved ones memory, and fostering moments of joy, even during this impactful and devastating loss.

I’m sending healing thoughts and prayers for you as you go through this journey of losing a parent at such a young age. I know it’s 22, but my heart is going to you. But what I want to offer you is that nobody can tell when you will be ready to move on.

Losing someone you care about changes your outlook on the world and your idea of how it should work. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed by the expectations of others during such a difficult time. The response to outsiders who wonder why you’re taking too little time to grieve or mourning for too long.

It’s understandable that you may feel frustrated by the unsolicited advice you receive from well-meaning friends and family members. You deserve the time and space to grieve. Your healing is a personal journey. You should never feel pressured to conform to someone else’s timeline or expectations. It’s important to surround yourself with people who will support you in meaningful ways.

However, I want to help you and get you to along the path. Let me offer you three little tips about grief that some of my fellow grievers and clients tell me they find hugely helpful. So here are the three key points that I want to share with you.

When I hear most of my fellow grievers and clients asks why is it taking so long to grieve? Isn’t it should be over by now? What I want to offer you is reframe of the question to pose a different question. How long did it take you to love this person in the first place?

Now I understand it’s a mom and daughter, but I wanted to show you how grieving cannot be rushed. Love and secure connection takes time. Humans are social beings, wired to connect with one another in deep and thoughtful ways. When those connections are shattered or cut by laws, we only naturally feel the heartbreak in our souls. Taking apart the heartache of memories, emotions, and reliance requires time to honor the deep love, feel the experience of grief and pain, and find your way forward.

So, again, instead of will this ever end, reframe the question to how long did it take to love that mom of yours, you know? A parent, a loved one, or anything. Because we are wired for connections. Again, we’re social human beings.

Number two, when we lose someone dear to us, such as a mother, a parent, it shatters the world as we know it. I get how you are going through the emotional storms. The heartache that stabs through every fiber of your being leaves us lost in a sea of sorrow.

As much as we don’t want to hear it, rebuilding a new life story takes time. There is a glimmer of hope when you are in the darkness of grief. It’s about adapting your life story to include these heartbreaking events and taking time to grow accustomed to your mom’s absence while addressing the many pressures of facing a different future. At this moment, you said you’re in law school and now with your mom not being there, it’s going to look different. I get that. At the core, you elevate the human experience by adapting to a loss and the future without them.

Number three, it never ends. It never stops. But you keep going anyway. I know that every morning, you find the courage to face this heartbreaking journey. But I have to tell you, you’re doing great. Laura, you took the time to listen to my episode and wrote me an email. You have just implemented to be a compassionate observer of your emotional storms and sunshine.

When you become that compassionate observer of your emotional wounds, you gain the stream to bear the weight of your sorrow and learn to walk with your grief. Listen, your journey through grief is not a final stop but a path towards transformation.

One day you’ll be empowered to guide yourself through your grief journey. With each passing day, you will grow stronger and more confident until you find yourself standing tall against the high winds of hardships. For that, you are the leader of hope and an overcomer of pain. Everyone’s grief experience is unique. The intensity of grief diminishes over time, but the love and loss we experience never truly disappear.

You had that life bond with your mom. That’s going to stay with you. That’s why when you listen to that unconditional love episode with me and my mom. Yes, I had the greatest mom ever, and I know that there are some people that did not have that connection with their moms. But at the end, you have such a strong bond with your mom. I want to offer you to take that with you and embrace it and enjoy the good memories and take the time to navigate this grief journey.

I want to offer to everyone else on here that’s listening with this will this grief ever end? Let’s stop viewing grief as an end destination and instead embrace it as an active part of what comes next on your journey. Grief is not something we can shine away until it glows with the promise of something new. It’s messy. It’s raw, and it can be heavy.

But with darkness, there is a sparkle of light. Let’s have the courage to live alongside grief, acknowledge its presence in our lives, and understand that it’s okay to feel sad. Sadness is not a sign of weakness. It’s a testament to the profoundness of our love and the extent of our loss.

Some days navigating grief feels like growth and connection while others it feels like stumbling through a nightmare. Have you been having those nightmares because I know I have.

For those of you who fear the idea of grieving forever, know this. It does get easier. But it takes you taking the initiative to cope with your grief experiences and seeking out the right kind of support from loved ones and resources that are available to you. Once you open up the conversation with your fellow grieving advocates or you start journaling, the weight of the grief begins to lift and the burden becomes more bearable.

Now, take all the time you need to heal and grieve in your way knowing that you’re never alone on this journey. Remember, dear friends, losing a parent is a profound experience that calls for patience, understanding, and an abundance of love and support from your grief advocates, from loved ones that truly can support your grief human experiences.

For Laura, I just want to let you know that once you told me that you lost your mother over the holidays, I know that May is coming and Mother’s Day is coming up. I just want to offer you that don’t worry about the hallmark of what’s happening that’s surrounding to you or anything. Celebrate at your own expense for your own mental well-being. Because when it comes to Mother’s Day and those who have a special bond with their mothers, it can be triggering. I want you to know that you have the opportunity to celebrate at your own way or don’t celebrate at all because Mother’s Day should be every day.

Well that is all that I have for you all. I hope this was a journey to learn about will this grief ever end? To stop viewing it as the end destination and start reframing that question to how long did it take to love that person? Understand that grief shall not be rushed. It should be a journey of learning about your emotional experiences. All right, then. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other. Have a great week everyone. Bye.

Thanks for listening to today’s episode of Overcoming Grief. If you’re ready to move into a new, rewarding life experience, and want more information about how to work with Sandy, visit www.sandylinda.com.